0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express , The rules in this book , To sum up, it is 4 Key words ： change 、 mood 、 Curiosity and self-awareness . this 4 Key words , It can help you understand the core characteristics of your baby at this stage . Help you observe the baby who is learning to speak , Understand your baby's emotional ups and downs , Understand how the baby's learning and thinking abilities develop in the game . such , Parents will know how to respond appropriately to the baby , Help your baby form a healthy personality .
List of articles
- 1 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ About author
- 2 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ About this book
- 2.1 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ Preface
- 2.2 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The first part
- 2.3 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The second part
- 2.4 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The third part
- 2.5 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The fourth part
- 2.6 0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ summary
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ About author
This book is “ Learn about your children's collection ” The first book in . The author is the Tavistock Clinic, the top psychotherapy institution in the UK （Tavistock）. This clinic is a resort for psychoanalysis , Famous psychologist Freud 、 Jung has worked here .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ About this book
This series is the Tavistock Clinic children 、 Parenting instructions written by professionals in the family and youth department to parents , Pay special attention to how parents' feelings and experiences interact with children's feelings and experiences . This book is about 0-2 Year old baby , Use rich cases to show you the baby from birth to 2 The inner world during the age of .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ Preface
Hello , You are welcome to listen to this book every day . The book I want to interpret for you in this issue is 《0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？》.
Get in 2019 At the knowledge conference in spring , The exclusive launch of a set of e-books “ Learn about your children's collection ”. This book is the first in this series . The author of this set of books is the Tavistock Clinic, one of the top psychotherapy institutions in the UK . This clinic is a resort for psychoanalysis , Famous psychologist Freud 、 Jung has worked here . and , This clinic is particularly authoritative in child psychology and family therapy . They put the 0 To 14 Year old children are divided into 4 Age groups , From a professional point of view, I wrote this set of parenting instructions for parents .
Today's parents are really more and more attentive in raising children , But they seem to have more self doubt than their predecessors , I doubt whether I am a good father 、 Good mother . They learn a lot about parenting , But sometimes it's like having martial arts in the air , It doesn't work ; It's not easy to make a move , It's like hitting cotton , It doesn't seem to have any effect .
Parenting has become a technical job . Want to learn this technology well , No optical skills , It is more important to master the law . This is the core idea of this set of books I want to talk about ： To raise children, we must first understand the internal laws of growth .
What I want to talk about in this issue is 0 To 2 The age of . This book is very specific , According to the clinical experience, the author summarizes the difficulties encountered by dozens of novice parents , Starting from these difficult problems , Guide parents to think in other places ： What does the baby think ？ Understand the baby's psychology , Parents can understand the inherent laws of infant growth , I know how to solve the problem . The rules in this book , To sum up, it is 4 Key words ： change 、 mood 、 Curiosity and self-awareness . Let's talk about it separately .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The first part
Let's start with change . You might think , Growth changes , Do you still need to say ？ however , Parents seem to forget this truth , This is how some of the pain of childcare comes about .
for instance , This book is about a mother , Her name is Kathy . Baobao was born a few weeks ago , Kathy felt that her strength was seriously overdrawn 、 Extremely depressed . She said she felt deprived of her whole life , There is no way to have a good meal , Day and night are always feeding , Always holding the baby . in the midnight , The baby made a loud cry , Like an alarm clock that you don't know how to turn off . You try to get up , Change him into a clean diaper , Feed good milk , Hold him to appease , Coax him to sleep , He slept soundly , You think you can finally catch your breath . Now , He burst into tears again . That moment , It's really hopeless .
Like many parents , Cassie also experimented with various methods , Try to solve the problem , It's like crying immunization, which encourages parents not to meet their baby's needs immediately , Or let the baby live more regularly . These methods seem simple , But it challenges my mother's willpower very much . For Kathy , The most difficult thing is to resist the baby's urge to appease him as soon as he cries , Let the alarm clock ring for a while . After a period of hard work , The baby finally wakes up only once a night . But Kathy hasn't slept for two days , The baby seems to have degenerated , And began to wake up frequently .
Think of everything again , Kathy fell into a deeper despair .
Do you think , What is the reason for Kathy's despair ？
Is it the baby crying ？ Of course not. . actually , Kathy is desperate because the baby's behavior is not what she expected . Kathy thinks she did something , The baby will give her specific feedback . I didn't expect it. , The baby doesn't follow the script at all .
Some parenting guidance is like a game introduction . Their writing will make parents mistakenly think they are game players , The needs of a baby are just a level in the game . Taking care of the baby is like going through a barrier , production 、 lactation 、 Changing diapers 、 Coax sleep . Parents have acquired a new skill , Can solve a new problem . Solve the problem one by one , The game can pass the customs , The baby will become an angel baby smiling like the milk powder advertisement .
This is really a mistake about the rules of the game . Parenting is a collaborative game , Children are the main characters , Parents are just supporting roles .
Kathy's mother wants her baby to have a good night's sleep , This is her idea . What does the baby think ？ The baby doesn't know what day is , What is night . He was thrown into the world by great power , His little world has changed completely , He'll never go back . This process is like the beginning of the universe , Everything is new , It takes time to clear from chaos . Whenever a new consciousness becomes clear , He will move closer to the adult world . Through light 、 Mother's state , The baby gradually perceives the difference between day and night , He will slowly establish his circadian rhythm . Eat whenever you want 、 Sleep if you want , Switch to a regular life .
Adults always want the world to be stable , But the baby's world is changing all the time . Suddenly into the changing world of babies , Parents with stable habits will naturally not adapt . If they try to get their baby into a stable adult world , It must be frustrating at some time , I feel that everything I do is in vain . Parents need to accept from the bottom of their hearts , Change is the norm for babies . What should happen and grow will happen , There is just no clear timetable . such , Even if it can't relieve fatigue and anxiety , It can also avoid despair and pain . After countless attempts , Kathy finally understood , Babies sometimes make progress , Sometimes I step backwards , Is very normal . Even if some methods don't work , Kathy felt less desperate . She became calmer , And more confident .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The second part
I hope this will not cause you a misunderstanding , I feel that my parents' efforts are useless . I mean , Accept the fact that babies are always changing , To get rid of some unrealistic fantasies , Use your strength in the right place . that 0 To 2 The age of , What should parents make the most of ？ That brings us to our second question ： mood .
There is a , I saw a grandmother with a baby at the door . The baby ate an apple , Immediately she began to cry . Mother not far away hurried up , Hurry to ask ： What's the matter? What's the matter . Grandma said , Ok ok , Maybe I choked . Turn around and ask the baby , Do you still eat fruit .
Do you feel anything wrong here ？
Both grandma and mom care about the baby , See the baby crying , They will make sure the baby is safe , But none of them spoke to the baby . The baby's crying is his signal , Grandma and mom only received part of the message , They know that the baby is not feeling well , But they ignore another part of the message , The baby is in a bad mood . The baby choked , It's not just the throat , You may also feel fear 、 Grievances 、 uneasy .
Parents of newborns are more likely to make such mistakes . They heard the baby crying , I always think that crying is caused by physical pain . If you feed milk 、 I changed my diaper , It's no use burping , Parents will worry that the baby is ill , Or feel angry 、 depressed . These parents don't realize , The baby is trying to communicate with them emotionally .
Emotional communication is human instinct , The baby is trying to communicate with her mother in her stomach . This book talks about a baby, Aisha . Aisha's mother said , When she was pregnant, she could feel that her baby Aisha often had rapid and obvious fetal movement . At this time, mother will pat her stomach , Ask Aisha softly ： What do you want to do? ？ Aisha would be quiet when she heard her mother's voice , It's like “ listen ”. After mom finished , She can move quickly again , It's like “ say ”. The baby's fetal movement is a signal sent to the mother by movement . Mother talked to Aisha , Touch your stomach , Is responding to Aisha . Mother in this way , Taught Aisha an important thing , That is communication itself . This kind of communication is beyond language , It's a rhythm ： Listen for 、 Respond , Try to get to know each other in the interaction . Of course, the content of their communication is not language , It's emotions .
After birth , The baby's emotional communication ability will become stronger and stronger . When you are happy , Baby can laugh , Hands and feet move around . When angry or afraid , He would cry . Disney has a cartoon called 《 Brain agent team 》, It vividly depicts the process . Baobao was just born , A little golden man appeared in his little head , Her name is Lele . Mom and dad smiled at the baby , Lele presses the Yellow happiness button , The baby immediately smiled at his parents . All of a sudden , The baby cried , original , I don't know when sorrow appeared , She pressed the blue sadness button , Maybe the baby suddenly feels hungry . The baby expresses himself through emotion , This process can be broken down into four steps ： stimulate 、 mood 、 idea 、 Behavior . Mom and dad smile , Or the feeling of hunger in your stomach , It is the stimulation of the external environment , Stimulate the baby to produce a certain emotion . then , Emotions trigger thoughts , Feedback to the body , Produce a physiological reaction , Babies have certain behaviors . This is the same reason as hoping for plum blossom to quench thirst . This process has a name in psychology , It's called “ Emotional chain ”. The emotional chain repeats itself , The baby will form a more stable mood , Then gradually form a more stable personality .
But , When we master the acquired language , Instead, you will forget that emotions can communicate . face 0 To 2 Year old baby , Parents in particular need to pick up the emotional abilities that have been somewhat blunted by adults .
First of all, we should identify the baby's emotions , Then find out the reason for this emotion . In limine , The mother may not know why the baby is crying , I don't know if he is angry 、 Fear or sadness . Slowly, , The mother has mastered the baby's emotional expression , She knows a certain cry or movement , It stands for hunger , The other kind of crying is sleepy and irritable . The recognition is correct , The mother can respond well to the baby's emotions , Know what action you should take .
what's more , Parents should realize that emotions can be contagious . See the baby smiling happily , Parents will naturally laugh . When parents laugh , The baby will also respond with a smile . If mom is worried , The baby will also be restless ; And the baby is upset , Mother will be more anxious . In this case , The mother may not be able to coax the baby in any way . Because she didn't realize , She passed on her anxiety to her baby . So , Mom is emotionally stable , Especially important for babies . Why? ？ Because she can make the baby feel safe . Compared with many animals , Human babies seem to be born before they are ready . He needs a few months , To sit up ; One year old or so before they start to learn 、 babble out one's first speech sounds . The baby knows that it is not enough to rely on himself during this period of time , He wants his mother to be around all the time , Can protect him 、 Take care of him . Mom is emotionally stable , The baby thinks the world is safe .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The third part
As the baby's body develops , He slowly realized that he had a greater ability . Now , Only babies with a sense of security have the courage to explore the world . What drives him to explore is curiosity . This is my third question .
Take your first step in life , For the first time, I can know where I want to go , It must be a good feeling . Now , The baby's heart is actually quite contradictory . In the morning, I may feel confident and want to let go of my mother's hand , When I walk in the afternoon , And I would hold my mother's clothes tightly . Mom may be a little confused , But it's normal . No matter how brave the baby is , He's just a baby . He needs to practice leaving his mother's protection , Then go back to my mother , Make sure she's still there . Only in this way can confidence be gradually built . Find a balance between satisfying security and satisfying curiosity .
Once the baby has found balance , He will be bolder and bolder , The driving force of curiosity is growing . Curiosity is a psychological tendency , When people encounter new things or new environments , Will be particularly focused , There will be many problems . The same goes for adults . Do you think , You travel to a new place , Whether the whole person will enter a kind of excited state , Will be particularly active to listen 、 Go and see 、 To participate . Because the new environment stimulates your curiosity .
Curiosity is the intrinsic motivation for learning , It is also the foundation of creativity . Two year old baby found , Press the key , The electronic organ will ring , He'll find it fun . He would be curious , If you press another key, it will also sound ？ Now , He must be playing the piano , But please don't disturb him . This is his own melody . Bounce... Bounce , He will find out for himself , An orderly melody is more pleasing to the ear . He will start to be curious about music , I will find the rules of the piano keys by myself 、 The laws of music .
In creation , The child's curiosity was satisfied , He will start a new creative activity . therefore , The best way to educate at this age is to satisfy curiosity .
For curious babies , Whatever you do is fun . What seems ordinary to parents , Like eating 、 Walk , They can all think of it as a game . He might laugh at the noodles , They may choose to walk on horseback .
Every child's game is meaningful . Colored building blocks , Not only exercise the baby's fine motor development , Make his fingers more flexible , It can also help him understand the shape 、 Color and so on . The book says ,2 Year old baby Sam , After getting up, I will talk to my peter rabbit for a while , Then go to the bedroom to find mom and Dad . Peter Rabbit is Sam's imaginary friend , Can always be with him , It is also his other self . Sam he knew he was the only one who got up in the morning , He is learning to be alone , I am also experiencing the relationship between the imaginary world and the real world ; He is thinking about the nature of friendship , It is also for people other than yourself 、 Things produce feelings of love . You see , Just baby Sam talking to Peter Rabbit in the morning , It has such complex and diverse functions .
The baby will even think about something that surprises adults during play 、 A profound question . Daisy's mother heard Daisy squatting in the garden , While playing with a pile of fallen leaves , Humming a song . This little girl , Singing sadly ： Many, many children have left . Sing again and again . Mother didn't know what Daisy was thinking . But mom felt it , The fallen leaves aroused the melancholy mood in this little heart , Daisy is thinking about parting , Thinking about loneliness .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ The fourth part
1 Before the age of , Most of the time, the baby just plays by himself . The more you grow up , The more he needs playmates . however , It seems that it is difficult for babies to play together peacefully and friendly , Because they don't want to share toys . When babies grab toys , The more you reason with your baby , The more he may feel wronged . Obviously “ my ”, Why do you have to give it to others , Or play with others ？ Don't worry , This is because the baby is building self-awareness . This is also our last question .
A baby with self-awareness , Know how to say “ want ” Say and say “ No ” Power , He began to use his power . What parents should do is to guide this power , Not against it . Every time the baby expresses his opinion, he is developing self-identity , He is learning who he is . Mom and dad seem to feel his unique personality . however , This trait seems unstable . occasionally , The baby will be like changing clothes , Experiment with different feelings , Sometimes love to show off , Sometimes they are very shy . The process of exploration is especially important for babies , Because he needs to be himself in his own way .
Have a preliminary self-awareness , The baby will be more and more assertive . Most parents today have this awareness , Know how to encourage children to be assertive . The baby's persistence should be supported as long as it is reasonable . however , It's not that easy to implement .
First , The baby's preferences are likely to be different from those of his parents . The book mentions a little girl named Jessica , Mother bought a lot of dolls for her , But she likes “ Holiday Heidi ”. Mother hates Heidi , Because Heidi's holiday clothes are super bright , Jessica takes her everywhere , Let mother feel very ashamed .
secondly , The baby will insist on doing something dangerous or troublesome . Famous picture books 《 David can't 》 David inside , It's such an inconvenient baby . He had to play baseball in the house , As a result, the vase was broken . So the author wrote at the beginning ： David's mother always says , David ！ Can not be ！
Essentially , This is a boundary problem .
If it's a little thing like a doll , Mom just needs to overcome it , That should respect the baby's freedom . If you're always in trouble like David , Mom has to be strict , Say no loudly . Just like Sunwukong was afraid that he would be captured by monsters in order to protect Tang monk , Made a circle . It is absolutely impossible to go out of circles ; And stay in the circle , Better respect his freedom .
But there are still many things , The boundary is not so clear . Before going out , You want your baby to dress well , You walk around the house with your coat , I just couldn't find a chance to catch that bouncing rabbit , Put him in . Because he doesn't want to wear blue today , Want to wear red . You are very angry , But they are not willing to criticize the baby . But patience is not enough , There's no way out . This is really a difficult situation .
For oneortwo year olds , Self expression and sabotage , There is only a thin line between them . It is in these blurry areas , The baby begins to realize that the world is complex . Take robbing toys for example . Parents will first draw a clear line for the baby , Don't take other people's toys , Because others will be unhappy . however , If other babies want their own toys , His parents would encourage him to share . Adults don't think this is a problem , It's a double standard for babies , It would be very difficult for him to accept . He has to deal with these afflictions , To really understand the rules of the world .
Easy to say , Hard to do . It is useless for some parents to reason with their babies , You will feel like a failure , The extreme ones will lose their temper , Even hands on . It's definitely not a good way to do it , Not only will it hurt the baby , And missed a good opportunity to teach the baby . There is a good example in the book . Debbie took her son to the office , My son is too excited , Running around the office , It's noisy . Debbie hurried to finish her work , Catch my son and take him home . The son shouted , The whole office was disturbed by the noise . Debbie must have felt ashamed , But she didn't lose her temper with her son , Just say ： You can't do that ！ On the way downstairs , My son has been making a scene , Debbie kept ignoring him . She didn't tell her son until she got on the bus ： Are you tired ？ Then fasten his seat belt . The son soon fell asleep quietly .
look , The son didn't seem to give in at all , It makes people angry . however , Never underestimate your baby's ability to understand . Through this matter , The son not only understood one truth —— You shouldn't make a noise in public , He also learned how to adhere to his principles gently and firmly . This will be internalized into his interpersonal model , Will become part of his personality .
0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？ summary
《0-2 What does the year-old baby want to express ？》 I have finished this book . As the old saying goes, three years old means big 、 Seven years old . Three years old means that a child grows up to three years old , The character is basically stereotyped , The parent-child relationship between parents and children has also been basically finalized . What is the subtext of this sentence ？ to raise 0 To 2 A - year-old baby is like laying a foundation , Every interaction between parents and children , Will affect his future personality and interpersonal communication patterns .
Reading , I shared with you 0 To 2 In the process of growing up 4 Key words ： change 、 mood 、 Curiosity and self-awareness . Understand that babies are always changing , Parents don't break down because they can't solve a problem . Understand that babies express themselves emotionally , Parents can communicate with their babies , Help your baby build a sense of security . Understand that curiosity is the starting point of creativity , Parents know how to play with their babies , How to educate him . Understand that self-awareness cannot be suppressed , Parents will know how to encourage their babies , And how to say no to the baby .
Of course , Most parents are first-time parents , Professional guidance is especially needed . This book is a good choice . If you have a baby of this age , You'd better keep this book at hand at all times . It's like you have a close child care consultant , You can consult him first on any question .